I have been trying to figure out how to write about this; Bisexuality being all the rage like a fashion trend. I have had many conversations and I started seeing the trend a while ago. It's the new fade to be bisexual in all aspects of the media, particularly for women. (note: Bisexual men still are not apart of these images and won't be largely because of male supremacy and the need to control men and keep them in strict roles, especially sexually. Any threat to the stereotype undermines the power structure. Women are not seen as much of a threat because we do not control the system)
There was the Katy Perry song, then actress Megan Fox "came out" as bisexual, then Lady Gaga, Nikki Minaj, hip hop, r&b,pop, rock music; Rihanna's next single is "Te Amo" her song about a foreign young woman who has a crush, she can't quite reciprocate. Homo-eroticism running rampant! It just keeps coming!(lol) But, most of these images and people seem to be bisexual for fun, for publicity,and in music, mostly for the sake of the male protagonist.
On the one hand, the fact that queerness has become such a part of the pop culture landscape is interesting and could be beneficial to sparking real conversations and making young people especially, more comfortable and more apt to explore who they are and accept who they are if they are having these feelings. It can have a normalizing affect. However, rarely are the images or discussion lead by the bisexual woman in question. If it is a woman exclaiming her queerness it is largely exaggerated and more of a performance or the woman is just a sexual conquest or challenge for the male.
NEWS FLASH: If a woman is down to get down with you and another chick, that's great for ya'll as long as it's done safely and it's consensual. However, that doesn't mean they are bi-sexual. To identify as anything in the queer spectrum comes with your personal history attached and it is within the historical and societal context of queerness as a whole. You don't get your bisexual card just because you have a threesome.
2nd NEWS FLASH: You are not irresistible and all women do not love you and want to have sex with you and if she is a LESBIAN in a RELATIONSHIP, your dick is not appealing!
This thinking also suggest that just because you are bisexual you are promiscuous, ready, and willing to get down with a man whether you have a significant other or not. It perpetuates stereotypes and devalues and belittles peoples identities and further subjugates women, particularly women of color in most cases. And frankly, we don't need anymore of that! Especially, if you are a woman, of color, and queer! These artist have such a public persona and it would be great if they could find another subject to write about or explore this in a real way. But, exploring things in a real, vulnerable, and honest way is lacking in most pop culture offerings, so again it must be our task to tell our stories, advocate for others, and fight for ourselves!
Click the title for the link to a dope article on the subject. And check out Ushers "Lil Freak" vid.
"Te Amo"
Nikki Minaj "Massive Attack"
5 comments:
Thanks Si Si for posting this topic! This made me think of our conversation about Nicki Minaj's verse in "Little Freak."
I am glad that you first noted:
"Bisexual men still are not apart of these images and won't be largely because of male supremacy and the need to control men and keep them in strict roles, especially sexually. Any threat to the stereotype undermines the power structure. Women are not seen as much of a threat because we do not control the system"
The reason being, I think, is that bisexuality in popular culture is written, talked, performed, and identified through the male gaze. In our conversation about Minaj, I found it interesting that though her verse CLEARLY articulates seducing a womyn for HER OWN sexual pleasure because it is Usher, a cisgendered heterosexual male's song, in which he is talking about engaging in sexual activities with two womyn, Nicki Minaj's verse, sexuality and desired sexual pleasure is cloaked within the desired sexual pleasure and outcome of Usher, a cisgendered heterosexual male.
Like you mentioned, this notion, again, stereotypes Minaj's sexuality as something that is not valued or validated unless it is within the context of male inclusion.
I think this is one of the dilemmas with understanding bisexuality because in mainstream culture to identify with bisexuality means to identify within the gender binary of man and womyn and to uphold the power dynamics that allow for non-normative sexuality to be exoticized only if it is within the constraints of heternormative pleasure.
I also agree with the difference you make between people exploring their sexuality (threesomes) versus people identifying with a certain sexual orientation (bisexual-identified). I have had a similar conversation with my partner about the lack of accountability, which I think this dilemma promotes, within the Bisexual community when certain individuals who try to identify based on having a threesome. A threesome is a type of sexual activity that anyone, who sexually identifies anyway, can have, but to walk within the world identifying as bisexual states that you walking in the world outside of normative sexuality (which happens to be heterosexuality, for folks who don't know) and you identify as queer. Not as straight with a wild side. And whatever that means. I digress. I am interested to see what conversations arise from this topic and how the LGBTQQI, but more specifically the Bisexual community will do to challenge these popular notions. I hope that there is a dent made before these heternormative ways of thinking about bisexuality and any other queer identity latch on.
I am very happy that you have decided to use your talents and gifts to start a real discussion about what is beginning to happen to women in the media.
I've continuously had this wierd feeling in my gut when i started hearing about nikki, seeing lady gaga dedicate her award "to the Gays", amber rose w/kanye etc...the list goes on
How ever i want to talk about how i am becoming tired of having to defend my sexuality to men and women. its because of these stereotypes that are being perpetuated that i have to cautiously explain who i am. I do not introduce my self as Paige the bisexual woman. I should not have to fear being transparent to the people i decide to have relationships with in fear that they will no longer be interested in me because i identify as bisexual. As a woman i will have to fight off men for the rest of my life (even if I were a lesbian) because we live in a male dominated world. So by me being bisexual does not make me superficial or promiscuous as so many think...lol which is why i am tired of categories and boxes...i love who i love because of that individual not just because of their sexuality.
On the real. I'm so glad that you wrote about this. I heard Usher's "Lil Freak" on the radio a while ago, and I had to download it to make sure that I actually heard what I THOUGHT I had heard. Clearly, I'm out of the loop on what in these days...
I think that we're in such an interesting place right now. Bisexuality is "cool" in the sense that some women are "allowed" to engage in bisexual play - because let's be real - for those women, it just means that they get to occasionally have sex with women - but there's no real "danger" because they're still going home to "daddy." Or at least, that’s the expectation, right? As Paige mentioned, this notion diminishes the reality of bisexual as a viable sexual and gendered identity. It also makes it really clear that women’s sexuality continues to exist only in relation to what’s comfortable for the men (in this case) that really matter and not really in relation to the women with whom they just play every now and again.
At the same time, we’re still seeing discrimination against bisexual women within some queer communities. It’s the ever present tug of war for and of bisexual women – inclusion by queer folks leads to the questioning of their “latent heterosexuality,” while inclusion by heterosexual folks leads to distrust of bi women’s loyalty to their queer identities. Now what do we have? A continuation of the battle over women’s bodies – except that instead of it just being men fighting over women’s bodies, we now have heterosexual men and queer women battling for “ownership” of bisexual women’s bodies. And if they don’t choose the right side, they risk being “disowned” by everyone.
Thank you so much for commenting ladies, with such poignant words.I am glad this has started a small discourse, it was grating! lol. And of course it's very personal.
...i whole heartedly agree... really good point about why we have a double standards with bi-sexual men! also love the way you eloquently put that when two women wanna get down it AINT about you -> MAN!
also just recently with working with middle school age kids I have noticed how much artists like Nikkli Minaj have on these youngings views and attitudes towards the way they should act and portray themselves - sometimes it seems like one step forward and 5 steps back when i hear 12 year old girls talking about this very freely, having it be a fad (which to me seems like its been building for about 8 years) in one sense brings awarness and some sympathy to issues in the gay community ( including bi-sexual community) but whenever anything is done in the commecial media its about marketing and that usually means - the sex sells mentality - making women objectified - and therefore slightly dehumanizing us.
Also things get mis construed - these artists are young and often hella high when they do interviews and their encoraged to be raunchy and sexually provacative - so an interview with Katie pwhateverhernameis that did the kissed a girl song, Nikki Minaj and other famouse (out) bi folks in the media - that are possibly exploring there sexuality get twisted into something "EXTRA SEXY AND DIFFERENT" tagline about them that can get more viewership or sell more magazines or get you to buy their music.
So the door's been opened with a fad. its cool to be bi but does middle america or the mass media support Gay Women at large - you'd think there connected but when folks like Queen Latifah come out - either nobody cares or she gets ridcules - white men radio hosts talk shit about her...it shows that the industry has changed that she can come out and be respected for it, in comparison to about 10 years ago when if a woman in the media, especially the hip hop industry was even suspected rumored to be gay due to a lil feminist ways she was a target, and disrespected ( with evidence of this in interviews that Lauren Hill was subjected to where talk show hosts talked shit and said she was Gay or that she hated white people - just because she was proud of who she is) (ok now im ranting but to me there related)
So with more woman claiming their queerness or bi tendencies, is there hope for more equal rights? can some beautiful people that are commited and ready to take that step get married to eachother so that they can expereince the same freedoms a straight couple has, and is there any hope for men in the music industry or the world to be able to be open about there sexuality and not be some undercover brother lovers without being considerded less manly...thats a whole 'nother conversation.
Thank you for speaking on it!
anyway...
Much Love
-Wren
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